My Special Students are not Sweethearts

I work with a lot of different people in disability services, so in turn I see a lot of different disabilities. I am interested in all of my work really, and try not to limit myself. But I never forget where it started, and continues to this day, with one day a week at Special School.

At Special School, in my particular classroom, I have students who have severe physical impairments but who also have brains much brighter than their bodies. I sometimes classify this as the cruelest turns of fate, to be in a body and you want it to work but you know it doesn't and it won't. It is different from Autism, which I heard beautifully put as 'seeing life through a different window, not understanding what you see, and nobody understands it either' (a generalization, but holds true for many people I know). It is different from intellectual impairment.

I know my students well. They are getting older, so I like to refer to them as my friends. They are all clever - much cleverer than people give them credit for. They can be lovely, but not always. They are teenagers and I remember my moodiness as a teenager all too well.

What I cannot stand is upon a minute of meeting them, someone who says "Oh bless them, what sweethearts!"

One of my students is, I'll give you that much. She is a sweetie, and she is often happy, and she is quick to smile and laugh. She is sweet. I'll even let you say she is a sweetheart.

But one of my other students that I can think of? Sweetheart is not the first word I would think to describe her. Bright, vivacious and bitter. I know her. She is currently limited as we unlock a key for an effective communication device, and this can make her angry. Would you call any other high-school aged student a "sweetheart" moments after meeting them?

One day, a friend of mine who is studying to be a social worker wrote this on Facebook

"It never ceases to amaze me how much people with disabilities despite all the discrimination they face on a daily basis are still some of the kindest and friendliest people I know."

That's coming from a social worker. A mass generalization on all people with disabilities.

I work with many different people. Guess what? I get bitten. I get spat on - purposefully, too. I am often covered with bodily fluids (nobody's fault). I get yelled at, by other carers. I try and stop self-injurious behaviours. I listen to a lot of squealing. I sometimes have to run a lot.

Sometimes I work with sweethearts. Sometimes I work with real cool cats. Sometimes I work with a mate or a buddy, and everything in between.

It's not glamorous. There is nothing romantic about this.

My Special Students are not Sweethearts, simply because they have a disability.
I've gotten it before too. I know my friend Emily from Words I Wheel By gets it too, as does her mum.

Any assumption about a person with a disability: that they will be sweethearts or not is a massive and unfair overgeneralization. We should be seeing a person before a disability. When we judge or assume that someone will be one way or another because of their disability, no matter what the disability, we are not being person-first.

And clearly, sometimes even social workers need a reminder on that.

4 (more) Special Moments from Special School

I have said it before, and I will say it again: I love Special School. Very few things get between me and Special School. I had a conversation with a good friend, Luke, the other day.

She Types Things: "Luke, you know I love school."

Luke: "Really, I couldn't tell..."

She Types Things: "Like if you were in hospital with only six hours left to live and it was on a school day... I am not sure what I would do... I would be very torn."

Luke: "You would go to school. I have accepted this. It is okay"

She Types Things: "Well you said it, not me"

Of course, I am not completely heartless. I would probably divide my time between school and Luke if that horrible situation did happen ;)

But I do love school, and when I am not at school I am constantly wishing I was at school. I am often thinking about my students. I care for them all, a lot. I want them all to succeed. I want them all to go beyond our expectations and exceed their wildest dreams. I think about this a lot.

I also want them to have a chance to be kids, or teenagers as the case may be. The other day my "sweet student" and "princess" were listening to music. They took it in turns to, using a switch, choose the music. They were just two girls, listening to music together as friends.

Please feel free to share in my joy of four more special moments from Special School.

#1 I have a new student in my classroom and she has been getting to know me over the past few weeks. This week when I entered the room she ran up to me as fast as she could to give me a hug. She is a beautiful child and this warmed my heart. Seeing recognition from students does make me happy: it is validation that I am doing my job.

#2 Communication is always on my mind with all of my students. I personally believe that communication is the key for thriving. One of my students, who I have now known for a year and who I refer to as "my sweet student", does not YET have an AAC or reliable system of communication that works for her. This is a lengthy issue in itself and I won't get into it now. I am able to understand her basic "yes" and "no" responses, but when she communicates something more it gives me great joy. It gives me even greater joy when it is something with typical teenage attitude and spunk. The other day, when a student was annoying her - she rolled her eyes at them and I burst out laughing, so she rolled her eyes again and smiled at me. THIS is fantastic. This is communication. This is gold.

#3 I love seeing a student improve. This can be over a long period of time, or it can be a sudden change that comes from a change of attitude, or a change of teaching method (or a combination of both). Seeing "my main mate" rock out a skill with a new attitude after doing such a poor job the week previous was such a thrill.

#4 I learn more as a volunteer at school than I ever did as a student. I have always said I wish I cared about school this much as a student. This week, as I was watching my teacher work students I was struck once again by the fact that she is an outstanding and marvellous teacher. I want to learn everything I possibly can from her.

First Day Back at School! 4 Special Moments from Special School.

After a sleepless night filled with excitement, today was my first day back at school! I honestly could not wait. I have a new backpack, a sparkly blue lunch box, a Disney princess water bottle and butterfly hair clips: did somebody say "prepared!" ?

My parents had to put up with me the night before randomly shouting out "SCHOOL!" when the joy overtook me, and all of my friends endured multiple texts that said "school tomorrow! school tomorrow! school tomorrow!". I wish I had been this dedicated and enthusiastic when I was in high school...

Because I am a model pupil, and I have a sterling record to maintain - on the first day back I was... LATE. The back-to-school traffic was worst than anticipated and I was late, but why break the habit of a life time?

It was strange returning to school because the reality is I had only been there a week ago. What??
Yes, it was Summer holidays, but I was working in the Summer program so I had been in most days. But it was totally different. Only one of my students was there. I had three who I hadn't seen in 6 weeks, as well as my teacher. I missed them all dearly.

I arrived at the school and was quickly swallowed by a mild feeling of apprehension. What was going to be different about this year? The excitement took over though, and I made my way to A Block. The day had begun.

It was slow starting. Lots to do. Physios checking positioning, as well as manual handling of all the children. That took a long time. There were aides who I didn't know very well in the classroom. In short, the routine is yet to come. But the special moments? They existed. I will tell you about 4 of them.

#1 One of my students was a bit late, as she had an appointment. Her mother brought her into class later. I've never met her mother, mostly this student arrives by bus. When my student saw me, after six weeks apart, she looked at me and her face lit up with a massive grin. It was a truly spectacular moment. Her mother was then very keen to meet me, and we had a lovely introduction. It was a great start to the day.

#2 Later on, after having morning tea with another student and seeing her smile from a few stories I was telling her about my holidays, I lay down next to her on the floor. I showed her Katy Perry's "Roar". She loved it. I love it. How is that not awesome? Introducing ANYONE to Katy Perry is a special moment. I knew she liked P!nk, but I'm more of a Katy Perry fan ;)

#3 In the afternoon, the student from the beginning of the day smiled at me. I smiled back and said hello, but I didn't pay close enough attention. Quickly she turned to crying, and I paid closer attention. I asked her what was wrong, as she had felt too hot before. Her skin felt fine now. She had also stopped crying really quickly. I got out her PECs board and went through the options. When I got to "read story", she smiled and looked up - asking me to read her a story. This is the very first time she has ever initiated conversation with me beyond needing a need of comfort (food/toilet/temperature) met. This was a massive deal. We read "The Very Busy Spider" by Eric Carle.

#4 At the end of the day, my student from the Summer program who is now in the next door classroom was sitting outside our classroom - refusing to move. Everyone thought he was distracted by the activity in our classroom, but I had a sneaking suspicion he was waiting for me. When I came outside he stood up and, instead of using his own walker, he held my hands and helped me push a student's wheelchair. The fact that he waiting for me.... well, it's a bit selfish of me, but it was a little bit adorable.


And that is how we have started the year. It will be interesting. With one of my students next door, two new students, new aides, new routines... well the best part about school and life is learning!

Thank God for learning.