First Day Back at School! 4 Special Moments from Special School.

After a sleepless night filled with excitement, today was my first day back at school! I honestly could not wait. I have a new backpack, a sparkly blue lunch box, a Disney princess water bottle and butterfly hair clips: did somebody say "prepared!" ?

My parents had to put up with me the night before randomly shouting out "SCHOOL!" when the joy overtook me, and all of my friends endured multiple texts that said "school tomorrow! school tomorrow! school tomorrow!". I wish I had been this dedicated and enthusiastic when I was in high school...

Because I am a model pupil, and I have a sterling record to maintain - on the first day back I was... LATE. The back-to-school traffic was worst than anticipated and I was late, but why break the habit of a life time?

It was strange returning to school because the reality is I had only been there a week ago. What??
Yes, it was Summer holidays, but I was working in the Summer program so I had been in most days. But it was totally different. Only one of my students was there. I had three who I hadn't seen in 6 weeks, as well as my teacher. I missed them all dearly.

I arrived at the school and was quickly swallowed by a mild feeling of apprehension. What was going to be different about this year? The excitement took over though, and I made my way to A Block. The day had begun.

It was slow starting. Lots to do. Physios checking positioning, as well as manual handling of all the children. That took a long time. There were aides who I didn't know very well in the classroom. In short, the routine is yet to come. But the special moments? They existed. I will tell you about 4 of them.

#1 One of my students was a bit late, as she had an appointment. Her mother brought her into class later. I've never met her mother, mostly this student arrives by bus. When my student saw me, after six weeks apart, she looked at me and her face lit up with a massive grin. It was a truly spectacular moment. Her mother was then very keen to meet me, and we had a lovely introduction. It was a great start to the day.

#2 Later on, after having morning tea with another student and seeing her smile from a few stories I was telling her about my holidays, I lay down next to her on the floor. I showed her Katy Perry's "Roar". She loved it. I love it. How is that not awesome? Introducing ANYONE to Katy Perry is a special moment. I knew she liked P!nk, but I'm more of a Katy Perry fan ;)

#3 In the afternoon, the student from the beginning of the day smiled at me. I smiled back and said hello, but I didn't pay close enough attention. Quickly she turned to crying, and I paid closer attention. I asked her what was wrong, as she had felt too hot before. Her skin felt fine now. She had also stopped crying really quickly. I got out her PECs board and went through the options. When I got to "read story", she smiled and looked up - asking me to read her a story. This is the very first time she has ever initiated conversation with me beyond needing a need of comfort (food/toilet/temperature) met. This was a massive deal. We read "The Very Busy Spider" by Eric Carle.

#4 At the end of the day, my student from the Summer program who is now in the next door classroom was sitting outside our classroom - refusing to move. Everyone thought he was distracted by the activity in our classroom, but I had a sneaking suspicion he was waiting for me. When I came outside he stood up and, instead of using his own walker, he held my hands and helped me push a student's wheelchair. The fact that he waiting for me.... well, it's a bit selfish of me, but it was a little bit adorable.


And that is how we have started the year. It will be interesting. With one of my students next door, two new students, new aides, new routines... well the best part about school and life is learning!

Thank God for learning.

"You're A Saint" - All the Awkward Turtles

Guys, I'm not even kidding. Honestly - a couple of people have called me a 'saint' recently, mostly due to my work at special school. Phrases such as "Geez, you're good to do what you do... to work with those kids"

My response goes somewhat like this:

(Let's not dwell on the fact that that is totally a tortoise)

 

 

I honestly have no idea how to respond to that sort of comment. It makes so uncomfortable for so many reasons....

 

1) I would like to think I'm not a bad person, but I'm not necessarily a good person ... I am simply ordinary. I am an ordinary person with an aptitude and a love for working in the area of special needs. I think people who can work in banks all day or hospitality are good - because they manage to do it without committing murder. I am not sure I could!

 

2) Why do I need to be a good person... to work with someone with special needs? This statement gets under my skin. Does someone need to be a "good" person to work with my friends? To work with me?

 

3) Let's just pause with the comment of "those kids"... do I really need to comment further on this? People first. "Those kids" are kids first, and human beings - and they are all very unique. You cannot lump everyone together like that.

 

4) By the way, I LOVE what I do... I LOVE what I do. I don't do this because I feel obliged to, I don't do this because I have a child with a disability, I don't work in the area of special needs for any reason other than I absolutely LOVE what I do. My work is simply working with children: it is working for their needs/wants - so they can have a good, meaningful, productive, effective life. I don't have to do this. I LOVE my life, I WANT to do this. I'm not a "good" person; I am just doing what I love.

 

I love other things in life. I do those things too. The fact that I have been called a saint was positively laughable. I have not cured cancer or anything else miraculous. I am complimented on being wise, and while I don't know how accurate that is, I consider it flattering and am honoured by that. But being called a saint? That is an insult to all saints who have ever existed!

 

 

I also love Disney princesses, sparkles, Scooby Doo, any sort of stuffed animal, getting new things, band-aids with cartoons on them... but when I spend time with anything to do with that, I am definitely not a saint. So I don't see how my work at special school is any different...

Are you a saint? What are some ways that people have described you that have either made you raise an eyebrow or been completely inaccurate?

Dear Internet - I am an Idiot.

I think that the title of this post is potentially misleading. There are likely multiple reasons why I am an idiot, only I have never felt the need to confess them to the internet before.

Until now. At 12:40am, lying in my bed, I feel the need to confess:

Dear Internet, I did not take my meds last night. Or this morning.

To some people that might not seem like such a big deal.

You may think: "Don't even worry about it! We all make mistakes!"

But the problem is, when I miss my meds - it is the equivalent to someone on the pill missing one. This explanation tends to work with my friends as they instantly are filled with the horror of missing a pill, having a bit of bingo-bongo, and winding up with one of these things to mess up their weekends and the luxury known as sleep:

BEWARE OF THE CUTENESS. I'VE HEARD IT IS THEIR GREATEST LURE.

 

But potentially the even bigger problem was not the fact that I didn't take my meds...

 

 

I didn't take my meds on purpose.

 

I can see the judgement in your eyes now. I can also see the bewilderment.

 

Why didn't she take these tiny tablets that are easily swallowed, barely a bother, hardly have any side effects, and keep her life *generally* so much less miserable??

 

 

Yep. You got me there. I don't really have a good answer. But before you go shaking your head in disgust and close the browser, I do have some theories.

As someone who tries not to let hurdles in life get me down (don't we all strive to be that person?), and also someone who didn't fail high school - I probably should have realized earlier than now that my very newfound habits of staying up late doing nothing, not even having the will to brush my teeth, and going to toilet and then thinking "eh. washing hands.... important.... effort....." thus making do with the hand sanitizer next to my bed, were not normal for me. In fact, it's kind of pretty disgusting. And while on the subject of honesty: I'm drinking Pepsi Max - late at night, and not brushing my teeth. I am making such a good first impression on you, dear Internet.

I sat on my bed looking around my room, which is in a mild state of disorganization - more so than normal -  and realized.

Oh my gosh. I think I am a bit depressed.

But why, you ask, dear Internet?

I have a lot to appreciate in my life - and for the most part I feel I don't do a bad job of appreciating it. I have a great support network - family and friends, I have access to great medical care, I have all my basic needs met and then some, I walk and talk (most of the time) really well, and generally: my life is good.

But right now - I am angry.

I am angry because I spent the weekend in hospital. I am angry because I feel like the meds didn't work so why should I bother taking them?

I am angry at needing people to care for me, instead of appreciating how much they love me.

And as soon as I realize this, I know I need to take my meds. It's 4 hours after meds time, but it's within the 6 hour window. I can take them. And well the reality is, I don't remember the last time I took them. I cannot stop taking them because they didn't work one time or a few times - I have to take them for all the other times they DO work. The blinding pain in my head and the difficulty talking today should've been a reminder how much they help me on a daily basis.

So I have taken my meds. Swallowed down with Pepsi Max. I will brush my teeth in the morning. Just because I have quit being a fool, doesn't mean Rome was built in a day. The dentist will never know, unless the dentist is in fact Santa Claus.

CALLED IT!

A lot of parents strive for independence for their children - whether their child has special needs or not. It is a good thing, but sometimes I learn how dangerous I can be with my own independence.

Freedom can be dangerous. I am currently at a point, for the first time in my life, where people don't check in everyday that I've taken my meds. For my whole life, I would be handed my meds - and I would also have no say in the matter. I don't really have a say in the matter now, I don't really have control over it. People do still check in a lot. I need to take my meds. It is what it is - and it should not even be a big deal.

So, dear Internet. Now that I have quit being a self-destructive idiot, I will take my Scooby-Doo pillow pet and we will both see you in the morning.

My question to you is:

If you are a parent (of a child with or without special needs) do you dream of your child having independence? Do you have fears about it?

To all: what do you think the best things about independence are?