Friday, February 14, 2014

My Friend's Disability Pisses Me Off

One of my greatest friends is named Rebecca. She and I get along for many reasons; for example, we just spent Valentine's Day watching Despicable Me together - and neither of us could really imagine anything better. Rebecca is a wonderfully supportive human being, and we tend to agree a lot on a lot of things - but there is one thing we will never agree on.

Rebecca uses a GPS to navigate everywhere. I never, ever use them. I am an old fashioned lady.

(Yep. Pretty close approximation to what I see in the mirror).

I would much rather look up on a map (Google maps, I'm not THAT old fashioned), and know where I am going whereas Rebecca can blindly trust the talking machine. I can rely on my sense of direction fairly accurately whereas Rebecca would end up in outer Mongolia if she attempted to try to rely on hers. We will never agree on the use of the GPS.

And that is okay.

A wise blogger by the name of Mary Evelyn over at What Do You Do, Dear? recently wrote about her son getting his new wheelchair and in the post she said that "[he] only needed the right tools. Just like you and me". Of course, Mary Evelyn with her wise words has caused me to think. Well done, M.E.

We do all need different tools. For Rebecca, it is the GPS. For me, I'd rather a proper map. 

I have other friends as well as Rebecca. One of my other friends is named Heidi. Heidi and me have been friends since high school. Throughout life, I was a dancer and Heidi was a musician. Then fate dealt a cruel hand.

Within twenty-four hours of each other, I lost function of the left side of my body and never properly regained it. Heidi lost hearing in her left ear. She has never regained it.

I am angry at my friend's disability. 

I think it is unfair. I also think it could've possibly been reversed with hyperbaric treatment. My mum is a hyperbaric specialist and has successfully reverse multiple cases of sudden onset hearing loss. I think it would've been at least worth a try. My mum was very keen to try. But by the time Heidi was properly diagnosed, it was too late. I am angry and frustrated that my mum and I didn't fight harder; we didn't talk to her parents; we didn't really believe what was happening... 

She wears a hearing aid now. She only got it recently.

We only need the right tools.

I still make sure I go outside and dance in the rain. Heidi can still play music, she adapted. We learn to adapt: it's the name of the game.

What tools especially help you get through life? (Red wine is an acceptable answer...)


  1. Oh yes, we do need the right tools to accomplish our goals! Adapting and accepting, at least for me anyway, bring great peace!

    1. You are right, Sylvia. Adapting can almost be fun. I will look forward to showing you other adaptations soon...

  2. I wish we could kick everyone's disability out of their lives for good, but we can't. The world is not yet ready for an achievement so big, but you're right about having the right tools. In any case, I'm happy that people like you are around to fight with disabilities, in general. Thanks for sharing that! Kudos and all the best to you! :)

    Brad Post @ Jan Dils